now i know where is my mistake started. its not because of that place. its because of my own self. someone said to me that i am easy person. easy to be accepted and easy to be torn apart. I'm not very certain about that but i always considered their pov. because maybe  they know better or that is merely their first impression on me.well, that's their stereotypes about me. knowing many people make me know more about myself. if its a negative opinion, then i should endeavor to change to be good and if its a positive ones, then i should say i still have to put an icing on it. right? even tho sometimes i attempt to run away from being too  tired because of some particular beings around me but i still need to face em. everyday mostly. i know its kind bummer when we have to accept the truth about someone that we care that s/he isn't someone that we expected em to be.

"why don't you let people see the good in you?"
reply: "because i don't have to live with people's expectation on me"
(quoted somewhere)

p/s : i think you should realize that you are not worthy for my concern anymore.even a bit. vale.
- A.I

4mins

The precious moments that you’re going through is meeting with someone who is precious in your heart, beautiful in your sight and sound mellifluously when you heard. The adrenaline which flowing inside you seems to burst out from your skin but you can still manage to keep it calm and cool. But people do not know what is exactly you feel; your feelings inside are cuddling with anxious and excitement because you’re going to meet someone you’ve been anticipated to meet, to meet eyes and to exchange the sweet and sincere smile. Even though it was just four minutes meeting which happened at that particular ambiance, everything that came out from the lips sounds so beautiful till you can’t get any things that have been told or been said. Everything gets so peachy and beautiful. But somehow, this meeting made my heart filled with sadness. Feeling hurt. like always. Vale.

-          You’re so beautiful. But that’s not the reason I love you.

-          A.I

Lost-lavender socks-test-dirty socks-boon companions-messages. 

Sometimes people need to keep a distance to what they like or fond of most because once they lost it, it will leave them in a great and deep sadness. They might end up being dolorous all day long. Sometimes even take years and years to erase it. People around us may not comprehend of the condition we are in just only known about what had happened to us. Because they are not in our shoes, they are just a pair of socks which never letting the flesh of our feet to touch the shoes. If the socks are in a lavender fragrance, they might be our good and patient listeners and willing to spend hours just to listen to our problems. And after that, they will be our great advisors, make ourselves in ease and calm and try to say something motivate. Our sublime socks will always say something that we want to hear. A softly mellifluous voice of our boon companions will always be our good melody to listen to. Like one of the nasheed songs from the great singer, Sami Yusuf entitles “Make Me Strong”.  Even though we are in a great pain due to someone or something that we fond left us, at the end of the day, we will submit and rely ourselves to the one and only, our Lord Allah, the Creator of the universe.  It is the most wondrous thing to see and get the attention and love from Him. And we should thank Him and the lavender socks profusely. 

 

Unlike the socks which are in the state of dirty and unclean, they will always criticize us. And we will be completely crushed by their criticism. If they are not your true friends, they will be reviled for the bad things that we have committed.  Why didn’t you take the precautions before doing something? Why didn’t you decide something good to your self? Everything that we’ve done will be questioned again and again. Our stress will get more serious due to our friends’ criticism. True friends are the one who assist you to forget and forgive, implore you to live your life to the fullest, try their best to give a sonorous phrase merely to please us, always stand on your side and ask Allah to ease our short journey in this world. The saying that relatively I know about friends and friendships is “A friend in need is a friend indeed”. S/he will always be there for us even how busy they are with their lives. They won’t leave you when you are in trouble; they even help you to solve it. Try to find as many as you can because you will be much grateful to have them around you.

 

And for you, take this reminder to yourself. No matter what people had done to you wrongly, please try to accept it as one of the test from Allah. I know that it is extremely hard to remove the feelings, but at some point, you have to stop. You have to let it go. Please change and change because I don’t want to see you in this kind of condition. You make you and yourself sad and disappointed with this sort of behavior. And just so you know, your life should not be like this. Be happy and live your life to the fullest.

 

Life is full of ups and downs. Speak the truth okay.

This is something that I just found,

The sky grew dark;

The clouds began to thunder;

The lightning began to flash;

It began to rain in torrents.

Paraphernalia:

A good friend for me is a pair of lavender socks. It gives you the relaxing lavender scent which can comfort you and can make you feel relax. 

a.i

out of the blue

Fly away all the memories

Only knew that all these times

U're the only one that stick in mind

Reminisce the goods and bads that need to be consigned

Minimalist drawing; a beautiful tree

Oriented to portray some meanings in it

Not only about thee, bout thy self per se

Telling thou that everything is just peachy

Hinder all the misapprehensions in front

Showing affectionate love at all ticks

Far away from here out of no where

Right this moment there is something happening

I know that i need to hold to this

Every cloud has a silver lining

Now i am totally realize who am i to you

Duly noted.

Life is full of ups and downs people.

[endnotofthedentalstory]

a.i

Harapan PadaMu Subur Kembali :)

After all the tests
this conscience becomes more clearer
my rational can work well
i can think well
of the reasons behind every tests
Alhamdulillah :)


it can make me strong
it can make me tougher
it can make me realize
of Your Love, The Lord


Actually, I really miss You
I really miss Your Love
Gives me much blessings
Gives me strength Ya Allah
put me among the righteous beings
put me in the straight path
Amin :)


excerpt from a song.
" Ya Allah, alangkah susahnya mendidik nafsuku yang tidak melihat kebenaranMu
Ya Allah, Tuhanku..bantulah hambamu dalam mendidik jiwaku ini"


be cautious in life okay :)

this is a song from Nazrey Johani which entitles Harapan PadaMu Subur Kembali :)


wahai Tuhanku yang Esa
bila kenangkan QaharMu
rasa gerun dihatiku
kerana takutkan siksaMu
hambamu rasa berputus asa
siapakah dapat bersihkan diri
dari segala dosa yang memburu
setiap hari setiap ketika


tika mengenang GhaffarMu
putus asa tiada lagi
semangatku pulih semula
harapanku subur kembali


Ujian menimpa benakan dijiwa
tak sanggup meneruskan perjuanganku
MehnaMu itu penghapus dosaku
mengganti hukumanMu di akhirat


wahai Tuhanku yang Esa
bila kenangkan Qaharmu

rasa gerun dihatiku
kerana takutkan siksamu
hambamu rasa berputus asa
siapakah dapat bersihkan diri
dari segala dosa yang memburu
setiap hari setiap ketika


diwaktu mengenag RahmatMu
terasa diri kurang bersyukur
padamu harus ku memohon
moga syukur ku bertambah



Ya Allah, alangkah susahnya mendidik nafsuku yang tidak melihat kebenaranMu
Ya Allah, Tuhanku..bantulah hambamu dalam mendidik jiwaku ini


Assalamualaikum :)

smile :D

smile suddenly cuddling with the lips
like the golden daffodils dancing in the breeze
merely with a small affectionate love you give
breathe in fortitude to the heavy feelings

i know this from a crony of mine
the instant lips have found a smile
that lost beneath the dawdle steps
you are the one who fasten the paces

a joyful cheering occupies the space
with a loud and nosiy voices
laughing and smiling happen with pleased
embraces the love that you always give

i guess
this happiness might not always there
but i believe the truth lies in there
even tho the window can't be open for others
but i can live with the yesterday times that ticking for us ^-^
i guess.

hey, remember this
sarcastically,
Its closed. It'll be open at two. ;p

[todentalstory]

bye bye

a week.

i'm in agony
despair in my own thoughts
where is my dignity?
where is my pride?

drowning in my own waves
even a savior might come help
will not be the same as your embraces
though i know you'd never cared

hopes still in my prayers..

[todentalstory]

total eclipse of the heart

the heart feels like tearing apart

the eyes feels the warmth of air

the hands still writing the notes

subconscious crying inside.

still listening to the story of a friend

i wanna be strong

enough to despise this feeling

born in me with a sudden blink

A total eclipse of my heart

no mind can interpret this

even if i told wholeheartedly

no one can still get it.

being confronted with others sadness

i wanna look determined

to lend a shoulder 

who might needed.

but what if i need a shoulder too?




[todentalstory]

yeah..physics. haha

i saw someone doing physics just now but not really physics, i think its much harder but that's d simplest term that i can call and with soft chuckles, i remember my time back in school..ohh..how i really LOVE that.haha.frankly, i detest everything which touch on numbers and formulas..:p

but i don't know why on earth i did get A for my Math.haha. maybe because of my teacher. my mathematic's teacher always said this in my class.."don't be Bodoh Sombong lah". ( Stupid+arrogant, wrapped in cellophane)huhu." u have to keep asking and asking. that's the secret of success", he said.emm,thanks a lot cikgu,hehe. i don't know whether he still remember me or not..i was d most passive student in class and almost invisible.haha.that's me. :)

but i still with my firm stand, that i don't like numbers and formulas.like someone doing those things in front of me just now.n i keep laughing with my own thoughts.oh, if i love those stuff, of course i will further my studies in engineering.waaahahaha. :p nope,i wont.

that is why. i am now struggling with consonants and vowels, n so much peculiar and ridiculous symbols that i need to memorize. :( together with the sounds. and, making the right sentences.grammars n blablabla. i thought i just need to study all those abcd till z but..huhu..

emm,i'm taking English.its a language. foreign language for me. :P i dont know why im taking this.mybe because i can't go on with the numbers so i learn language.em,whatever.

of course i respect someone who excels in math, all those formulas stuffs because i don't have d ability to take that.haha..i wish i learnt from my mistakes n past. dont be such a lazy person, being carried on with stupid business and many more..until just a little happiness came across in my mind (back in school).

emm,ok..thats all.actually, i just wanna say that i just saw someone doing physics in front of me.hahahaha. :p


[todentalstory]

Hard Heart Beat HARD.

The darkness filled the space
to the heart that may be in disgraced
With all of the sudden answer
It becomes more clearer


The light gives shadow to bright
This heart is never being so hard
Even the beautiful flower was held apart
Always keep the heart tight


The beautiful flower may be blossomed
May looked jocund and joy
Or give only poison to the bees
Or give only wound to any companies


Mistakes committed with the heart
Always realizes sooner to depart.........

Invisiblle InK :(

“The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words all being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible.” – Vladimir Nabokov, Lectures on Literature, 1980

                There are no words to describe my feeling of not having the chance to watch the magnificent play of William Shakespeare’s works on last Saturday. I really thought that day was my bad day because everything seemed so wrong. All the plans that I have arranged, vanished within split seconds. I felt so disappointed because I am really eager to watch the play because I never watch any plays before in my entire life. Even though the ticket only costs a small fortune but the experience and the contents of the play cannot be learn through reading the pamphlets or books. I felt really sad about this and I promise that I will go there again to watch the play at some other time. Therefore, I am going to write about my experience of not watching The Cpmpleat Wrks of Wllm Shkspr (Abridged) and all the obstacles and hurdles that I have gone through before I reached the place.

            My friends and I decided to go there by using the transit system because I have checked in the website of the KL PAC about the map of that place. It looks so easy for us to go there so we willing to take the risk. From Gombak LRT station, we went to Masjid Jamek for awhile because my friend needed to buy ticket to go back to her hometown that night. After that, we took the Star LRT to Bandaraya to take the KTM at Bank Negara station. After we arrived at the Bandaraya station, we just walked straight to find the KTM station. After ten minutes walk, we suddenly realized that we were in the wrong way. We have walked until Dewan Bandaraya Kuala Lumpur building so we need to turn back to search for the KTM station. After we turned back and asked people around, we finally can ride on the KTM of Bank Negara to go to the Sentul station.

            After we bought the coins to go to Sentul station, we waited there about ten minutes before the train came. Sentul is the first station of the lane so I really thought that we can arrive there at 3.00 pm sharply because that time was already 2.30 pm. After a few minutes, we arrived at the first stop which I hope it’s Sentul but unfortunately, it’s Segambut. We took the wrong lane and ended at Segambut. So, we have to wait for the KTM about 20 minutes and I felt that my chance to watch the play has gone. But, my friends insisted to go there and asked for the night play. Around 4.15 pm, we arrived at Sentul station. From there, we took the taxi to go to the KLPAC. Ultimately, after all the hurdles that we have gone through, we arrived at a very exclusive and unique KLPAC. However, it was 4.45pm and the play was already finished. By pulling a long face, I asked the in charge worker that I wanted to watch the night play but the worker did not allowed me. I felt my heart stop beating for a minute because I felt so exhausted and frustrated. This is my bad day and this is a test for me.

            I learnt a lot from this hardships and this adventurous journey. I never went to KLPAC before and do not familiar with all the ways and lanes of the transit system. However, after gone through all those difficulties and obstacles, I can know a lot of places and know how to go there by myself. But, the utmost feelings that I cannot bear is because when I have two most patient and nice friends with me. I can feel the embrace of their love and concern towards me. They were willing to accompany me to KLPAC even though they were not watching the play. Only God can reply all their good deeds towards me. At that evening, I asked my friend who watched the play about the contents that I have missed to watch. She told me that the play was very interesting and funny.

            Even though I did not get the chance to watch the live play but I still doing some readings on several works of William Shakespeare such as Romeo & Juliet, Hamlet, Julius Ceaser, Cleopatra and many more. I found his works are very details with all of the feelings and emotions of love, sacrifice, violence, death, religion and family and so forth. I am very interested on Romeo and Juliet because the piece portrays a strong passion and romantic love as I am very fond of the romantic love story.  Even though the love emerges as an immoral thing, leading to destruction rather than happiness but in its extreme passion, the love that Romeo and Juliet possesses, appears so beautiful and pure as other people cannot feel and experience the same thing as they were. I really wish to watch the play live but I do not have the guts to reverse the time. So, I merely can read the stories and works of the greatest writer in English literature. 

this is the play that I've missed. :(

 p/s : reminder for me n for all of u

- please go as early as u can

- double check the lane of your transit..or else u'll end up waiting :(

- ask people around u. Just ask n ask. ok.huhu

- what else? just take this as ur test and there will be reason behind each incident..remind urself reiterately. 

See u again KLPAC.  WUhuuu.

Congkak :)

I felt so grateful because i got the chance that might not everyone get. i used to be a Congkak teacher and all my students were the foreign tourists..can anyone imagine that? :) when i'm doing my practical at Kelantan Tourist Information Centre, my weekly task is teaching the foreign tourists how to play Congkak at the Cultural Centre or Gelanggang Seni. As you know that Congkak is one of the famous traditional games in Kelantan besides Gasing, Wau, and many more. So, as for me, i should only teach Congkak because i'm a girl :) Congkak is mostly play by the girls in their leisure time and it is still being practice by the youngsters in order to preserve the authenticity and uniqueness of the Kelantanese culture. well, let's get back to me. i teach Congkak at around 4 @ 5 pm after all the foreign tourist finished watching the 

Art of Self-Defense (Silat Tari), Kite Making (Demo Buat Wau) , Coconut Husk Percussion and ultimately, people can learn and play Congkak with me. Usually, there are three or four teachers who will teach them how to play. while i'm explaining to them how to play, the foreign tourists give a very deep attention towards my explanation and they seemed to enjoy that game very much. Fortunately, they are easy to understand and they can play it very well. sometimes i lost to them :( huhu..but i just wanna give them chance :)

 Art of Self-Defense (Silat Tari)

Well, there are many styles of playing Congkak because people seem to have their own rules. Firstly, I explain to them about the name of the game which is Congkak, and there will be two players. Each player has their own house at the end of the Congkak board and they will be seven holes on that board. Each hole consists of seven marbles. In the first round, both players can play by taking all the marble in the first hole by their right and put each marble in the following marble until reach their own house. After that, they can take all the marbles in any holes and play it by putting each marble in the next hole until it reach to the other hole. When they are running out of marble and reach to an empty hole, and unfortunately they have to stop and let the opponent continue. If the opponent is running out of the marble and reaches to an empty hole, he or she has to stop and give to the other side to start playing again. Congkak is a very easy and enjoying game that people should play and experience it if they come to visit Kelantan. 

Enjoy your visit to Kelantan and don't forget to come to the Cultural Centre to watch the other traditional games and performances. :)